Cause I'm a River Driver....

Tackling the mighty LeHigh river is a wonderful way to counterbalance the stress of the concrete jungle. We gathered early in the morning, a couple of us hungover, and we began the adventure with pouring rain and struggling to get everyone together. We barreled into White Haven, loaded the raft precariously onto the hyundai and as the clouds cleared, entered the roaring rapids for another adventure. Being the prepared woman I am, I had brought many straps to keep to avoid airborne rafting adventures. Last year we used a 4 door sedan to transport the raft and we all stretched our hands out the windows to hold the raft onto the car which was much more challenging.

I'll spare you the complete recollection of Yuengling & J. D. enduced revelry and simply say it was a great time. There was cliff diving, running jokes, jealously from the guided tours who couldn't be as festive as our party raft and rejuvination from being in nature & with great friends. As always, my favorite part of the trip is bellowing the old drinking song.....


I'll drink when I'm ready,
Get sober by, and by
And if this river don't drown me,
it's onward I will roam.
Cause I'm a river driver
And I'm far away from home.....

Battling the Hive Mind

Sleep TIGHT....don't let the bed bugs......
We all know this clever little rhyme and have repeated it to small children without a care. Until recently, I thought it was one of those things adults say to make kids giggle. But no, these creatures are real and I recently met them. In the picture you can see their prime number marks where they feasted on my back & side (I should have sucked in instead of poofing out :). Apparently there is a citywide epidemic and this is not an unusual thing. As a matter of fact, it's unusual to have never encountered them. Initially I was incredibly squeamish and this incident just about sent me to the loony bin. As many of you remember, it was a struggle to get ahold of my inner Zena warrior princess. BUT I have biology and a larger brain on my side so I went to war! MOOO HA HA! I am pleased to report today it seems I can pull out of Bugganistan and return to a normal, less frantic life. I now feel more like a New Yorker- like I belong. I have been plagued by the enemy, thought I could never conquer, reached deep inside myself to develop the resolve to persist.

A few things I learned through this strange episode:

• B. Bugs are to New Yorkes like Ticks are to Midwesterners
• I now know how cow pastures feel- grazed and regularly plundered
• I am a resource- like coal, herbaceous plants and sunlight- something to be consumed.
  

Table for 3 please

On a beautiful day I took my humble sammich to the park, found an unoccupied table and settled in to evaporate the stress of the day. As I munched along, a few sparrows flew in, curious and hungry. Against better judgment, I threw a crumb to the other side of the table. One of the group quickly nabbed it, cocked its head to the side to look right into my eyes and bounced a bit closer as if to say..."more please". I threw 1, 2, many crumbs, convincing the sparrows to come closer and closer. Eventually one came right under my hands almost within reach of helping itself to my sammich.

Subway Etiquette

I'm not sure what the socially accepted subway etiquette is. I've learned some tricks for how to maneuver into a seat when it becomes available but I'm just not sure when it's acceptable to verbalize certain requests.

Is it impolite to ask someone on the subway to:

"Please remove your armpit from my face"
"Could you turn your hips to the side so I don't have a close up of your private bits?"
"Kindly stop mushing into me at every stop- muscle contraction is a good thing"
"Please close your legs so more than one person can sit on the bench."
"Control your purse- just because it isn't a body part doesn't mean it should be a battering ram."
"My head is NOT an armrest!"
"Stop looking at my feet!"

Clever!

Do you remember the cartoons where the car would parallel park by jostling the cars on either side of the spot until it finally fit? Remember how that image had you nervous when parallel parking at your driver's license test? And ever since you've had a persistent voice nagging you about how, as you're relaxing in the restaurant enjoying a few bottles of wine, someone is RIGHT THIS MINUTE doing exactly that to your nice new car??? Images of a severely scraped, dented and molested bumper haunting you throughout your meal? Well, fear no longer! There is a solution!!! The Bumper Bully (or Bumper Badger- picture coming soon)! A very clever way to protect your precious car, allowing you to relax while other less capable driver's shove and squeeze themselves into a spot.

Now for the discouragement: Yes, people really do repeatedly bump while parallel parking. While nibbling from the Whole Foods buffet I watched a person spend a full 10 minutes bumping the cars defining the space no less than 4 times each. It was a bit appalling to observe the incompetence and his children learning this 'technique'.

Darwin would be proud

I'm so proud of the neighborhood gang- they understand Darwin! I'm contemplating expanding the discussion and adding a few population biology equations- maybe we can get a nice conversation about genetic theory going on the neighbors wall. Wonder how exponential growth symbols will go over in this neighborhood?

Even the birds are big

I've heard everything is BIG in NYC....the hair is BIG, the colors are BIG and people are in your face with BIG attitudes. Guessing by this nest on top of the Metropolitan Museum of Modern Art, even the birds are BIG.
I actually don't know what this is.....

Icon Atrophy

I wish I had more exciting, iconic pictures of Coney Island...but alas, the icon is deteriorating. The new wooden boardwalk is a weak bandaid on this relic of a bygone era. There are many creative carnival rides crammed into a narrow strip between the beach and residents. The most fascinating was the wonder wheel pictured above where the compartments slip on rails between the outer and inner ring. We wanted to try it out...but we never saw it make a full, smooth round and at $8/ride the experience didn't seem worth it. It's hard to describe the scene- the old neon lights, battered buildings and attempts at restoration. The best part of the Coney Island experience was the DJ with seamless transitions and great sound system. Coney Island is the adult glorifying and extolling their high school experience as 'the best time of life', reliving the drama and emotionally roiled interactions through the current generation.

I'm never sure if I should brag about being American

Aaah, a Coney Island tradition: challenging your neighbors to an eating contest. Nothing quite says "I Love My Country" like consuming mass quantities. Though when it comes to posturing, smacking antlers and proving fitness I prefer this contest to the more covert games.